I recently had the opportunity to practise using an “I statement” to discuss a friend’s “difficult behaviour”. This friend (who shall remain nameless) has been known for his lateness, although I must say that his time-management skills have improved considerably. However, this weekend we had made plans to go out and once again he was late. As he got into my car, any excuse for his tardiness was fair game… The DVP highway was closed, it took him 45 minutes to get home from the grocery store, he had to shower before meeting me… The list went on and on. As you probably all know, the typical “I statement” format is, “I feel […] when you […], in the future, could you […]”. In the heat of the moment, my “I statement” came out as follows: “It’s really annoying when you’re late and you blame it on things that you could have predicted… I would understand if something unexpected came up, but it seems like you knew about everything that you said made you late. Why can’t you just apologize?”. Granted, not the perfect “I statement”, both in terms of format and tone. I was actually expecting a counter-attack, but instead got the following response, “You’re right. I’m sorry and I do have a problem with time-management.” Needless to say, I was a little shocked, but hey, power to the “I statement” (even if used a little improperly).

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