Have you ever had a meeting that you knew would be a disaster? Gone into a conversation with a colleague sure that it would end badly? Started a conversation with  a family member pretty certain it would not end well?

If you are thinking any of these things, your conversations can often lead to a common result: an ineffective conversation where your goals aren’t met and things go as badly as you expected.  This could be a result of a something that people are often missing when they are about to have difficult conversations and that is the power of positive thinking.

Positive thinking can be used in many aspects of life to great benefit. Entering a situation with a positive attitude can be helpful in many ways. Difficult conversations are no exception; going in with a positive attitude will often put you in a much more likely position to succeed rather than going in assuming everything will go wrong. By going in with the attitude that “this conversation will be beneficial” “this meeting will be productive” etc. people are often able to see the results they are looking for in difficult conversations for these three reasons, and more:

1 – You are more likely to understand the other person’s perspective

If you go into a conversation assuming the best you are much more likely to be able to understand where the other person is coming from, as opposed to viewing them as “the opposition” or someone who is “wrong”. By opening yourself up to understanding the other person’s perspective, you make it more likely that they will hear your perspective and make it more likely that the conversation will be a success.

2 – You are more likely to have a positive conversation

Going into a conversation assuming it will be bad leads us to do things that actually cause the bad result to occur. Think about the tone that you take when you know a conversation will be bad – it’s often more negative, more dismissive and less engaging. The reason for this is obvious – you know the conversation won’t go well and you don’t want to fully invest in it and you protect yourself against the bad result. Now think about your tone in conversations that you think will go well – you’re often happy, upbeat and engaged. This tone serves to help the conversation go better and progress in a positive manner, and you often enjoy the conversation and leave the conversation happy with how it went and in a positive mood.

3 – You are more likely to be open to positive solutions

If you think a conversation will be bad, your primary focus is often on ending the conversation and getting out of the conversation as soon as possible. You therefore might spend a lot of our mental energy thinking about how to end the conversation as quickly and painlessly as possible. This goes against the goal of trying to find good workable long-term solutions which often involve working together with the other party. Therefore, trying to end a conversation as quickly as possible because we have negative expectations may, in fact, cause us to  miss out on the positive outcomes we often want.

There are many benefits in life to entering a situation with a positive attitude and hopefully the next time you think you are going to have a challenging conversation you are able to stop ahead of time, try to go in with a positive attitude and then get the result you are looking for.

To learn conflict resolution skills that you can use at work and in your personal life, please visit our Alternative Dispute Resolution Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.

To improve your negotiation skills and get the results you want while negotiating, please visit our Become a Powerful Negotiator Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.

To gain skills to handle difficult conversations and difficult people with confidence, please visit our Dealing With Difficult People Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.