A Pragmatic Model for Coaching in the Workplace

One of the hats that ADR practitioners are likely to be wearing these days is that of coach, and indeed many workplaces around the continent are adopting coaching as a skill set they want their managers or HR staff to have. Even as a mediator, my skill set as an effective mediator includes the ability […]

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“I” Statements

I recently had the opportunity to practise using an “I statement” to discuss a friend’s “difficult behaviour”. This friend (who shall remain nameless) has been known for his lateness, although I must say that his time-management skills have improved considerably. However, this weekend we had made plans to go out and once again he was […]

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Having meetings that work

Have you ever walked out of a 2 hour meeting with the feeling that you’ve just wasted two hours of time and accomplished next to nothing, or that something was accomplished but no-one is sure what? Even when we pride ourselves on being effective or experienced negotiators, we may be less successful than we’d like, […]

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Mediation Tip – Separating Intention from Impact

In mediation it’s often helpful to help parties separate intention from impact. Parties in dispute often judge each other, in part, by their assumptions about the other person’s intentions. If the impact was negative, then the intention of the other person was assumed to be negative. This may not be the case. While the parties […]

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Negotiating Tips 4

Fairness How do you convince someone that your proposal is fair? Fairness is a subjective concept and people have different ideas of fairness. Just because you think something is fair doesn’t mean the other person will think so too. One suggestion is to look to objective criteria, such as comparables. People are more likely to […]

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Negotiating Tips 3

Reciprocity We often hear about random acts of kindness and something inside of us wants to see the kind person benefit in some way. It only seems fair. Some of us even act on this and try to do something nice for the person who was kind, especially if they’ve done something nice for us. […]

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Negotiating Tips 2

Competitive Bargainers How do you deal with a competitive or positional bargainer? Someone who takes a position, anchors and doesn’t move? These people frustrate us as we look for the magic formula to cause them to make concessions or show flexibility. Unfortunately, there’s no magic formula. Usually, we try to convince them that they should […]

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Negotiating Tips 1

Power Power is an interesting concept as it relates to negotiation. We all have a sense of what power is, but usually from examples we can think of rather than because we know the definition. In fact, if asked for a definition of power in negotiation, we probably struggle, and prefer to just give examples […]

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How to deal with difficult people tips

Dealing with someone who talks and will not listen: Sit quietly and let them run out of steam. Let them know that, while you may not agree with everything they say, you would like to hear their thoughts and then let them continue. Use interactive listening techniques. Ask to set an agenda that includes time […]

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Having meetings that work

Have you ever walked out of a 2 hour meeting with the feeling that you’ve just wasted two hours of time and accomplished next to nothing, or that something was accomplished but no-one is sure what? Even when we pride ourselves on being effective or experienced negotiators, we may be less successful than we’d like, […]

Continue Reading