Know your purpose and act accordingly
Everything you say and do in a conversation should be consistent with and designed to achieve your primary goals. First, you must identify what your primary purpose is, and then reflect on how to structure your conversation/negotiation to achieve that purpose. Beware the attraction of secondary goals (like saving face) that can take over a […]
Continue ReadingShow flexibility and identify unsatisfied interests
People who say “No” often mean “No, unless…” and have flexibility that may not yet have been revealed. If your “No” is rigid and unqualified, the other party may see no reason to continue exploring options with you. If you can demonstrate flexibility and also highlight the interests that need to be satisfied, the other […]
Continue ReadingMake each customer your first customer
When we see a lot of customers or complaints, we often get jaded, making it harder to listen to the next one. See each customer as an individual. Avoid judging them prematurely based on past experience with others. See them as if they were your very first customer. Put yourself in their shoes if you […]
Continue ReadingMediation 2017: Roundtable
This article was originally published in Who’s Who Legal: Mediation 2017. For the original post, please visit http://whoswholegal.com/news/features/article/33990/mediation-2017-roundtable/ Who’s Who Legal brings together Alan Limbury at Strategic Resolution, Rosemary Jackson QC at Keating Chambers and Allan Stitt at ADR Chambers to discuss recent developments in the field of mediation including its increasing popularity, the future for […]
Continue ReadingManaging strong emotions in a difficult conversation (video)
Elinor Whitmore reviews some tools for managing strong emotions in a challenging conversation, whether the emotions are your own, or those of the other person.
Continue ReadingHow to start a difficult conversation (video)
Elinor Whitmore provides advice and guidance on how to start a challenging conversation with a difficult person, on a difficult issue, or both.
Continue ReadingDealing with someone who makes personal attacks
Ignore the attacks and focus on the issues. Try to determine if you did anything to upset them and, if so, apologize for the impact of what you have said. Set ground rules for behaviour. Name the problematic behaviour and describe how the behaviour is negatively impacting the process. Bring a third party into the […]
Continue ReadingDealing with someone who talks and will not listen
Sit quietly and let them run out of steam. Let them know that while you may not agree with everything they say, you would like to hear their thoughts and then let them continue. Use interactive listening techniques. Ask to set an agenda that includes time for both of you to speak. Change the physical […]
Continue ReadingHow to become a mediator
How to Become a Mediator Don’t give up your day job. Be patient. Unless you are spectacularly well known (e.g. Supreme Court judge) or very lucky, it will take time to build your practice. You can’t hang out your shingle as a mediator and expect a flood of work. It is a ‘word of mouth’ practice […]
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