Who are the Influencers in a Negotiation?

Paul Godin provides a negotiation preparation tip, using an example to show us how to consider and use the full relationship network relevant to an issue.

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Who are the Influencers in a Negotiation?

Here’s the video link of the transcript below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9Fn1s4JKRw

{Transcript}

One of the things you want to think about when preparing for negotiation is not just what the relationship is with the person at the table, but who the other people not at the table are—those who might have influence or decision-making power with respect to the deal or issue you’re working on.

We sometimes focus solely on the person on the other side of the table, forgetting that they may answer to somebody else—maybe it’s a corporate president, maybe a board of directors—or they may want approval from someone else in the organization to make sure they’re heading down the right path. So we want to be aware of all of the people, not just those at the table, but those away from the table who have influence on the issues and the people involved.

A good example of that: one of my clients a few years ago was having a challenge with a family member who was suffering from addiction issues and would not listen to her. My client had multiple discussions with her brother about how to deal with the issues, and found that none of those discussions bore fruit.

When we talked together about how to approach the issue differently, one of the things we explored was whether there was anybody else with a relationship that might make the delivery of the message more effective. As we talked about why her brother was not responding well to her, we recognized that part of the problem was that he didn’t see her as someone with the background or experience to respect on this issue. She was the golden child—had never had any problems—and came from a very different background and experience, one that didn’t align with the lived experience of addiction. As a result, she felt it was quite possible that he couldn’t listen to her with respect on those issues.

When we looked at who the other relationships were that might have more credibility with her brother, she realized that there was another family member—an older uncle—who had suffered from addiction, fought through it, recovered, and was now doing well. That person, she felt, might be someone her brother would listen to and respect.

So she went off with a plan to speak with her uncle and see if that person would be able to have the same conversation she had been trying to have. Several months later, I heard that they had done exactly that. For the first time, her brother had listened to someone. The uncle had been effective in delivering the message, and her brother was now approaching his life differently. There had been movement that she had never seen before.