Dealing with difficult people is not simply a skill. It is a leadership skill. Great leaders in business know how to handle difficult individuals. They know how to tackle the problem head-on, resolve any issues, and move forward to continue the business relationship. Business people without these skills will get bogged down in the quagmire of conflict, wasting precious time and energy on difficult people. Stitt Feld Handy Group has comprehensive leadership skills training focused on effectively dealing with difficult people. If you’d like to rise above the fray and improve your conflict management skills, training is available to both groups and individuals. In the meantime, here are a few tips for handling difficult people, whether they are co-workers, clients, or industry peers.
1. Try to not take it personally. We know you’ve probably heard this tip before. We know it’s hard. Oftentimes, difficult people will try to make it personal. Don’t let them. When dealing with conflicts in a professional environment, you simply cannot view them as a personal attack. If you don’t take the conflict personally, you will be able to devise a conflict management strategy that will allow you to resolve the issue and move forward. After all, that is the goal. If you find yourself in a discussion with a difficult person who is trying to make the conflict personal, try to redirect them. Ask questions about the heart of the issue, show your willingness to resolve it, and keep him or her on track. If you prevent the situation from spiralling out of control, you will be able to quickly diffuse it.
2. Don’t delay addressing the problem. This is one of the primary mistakes that business people make when dealing with difficult people. They hope that the problem will go away on its own, or that time will make dealing with the conflict easier somehow. In fact, letting the issue fester usually only worsens the problem. If there is a misunderstanding, address it as soon as possible. Sometimes difficult people are venting their frustration in the only way they know. Often, a simple “I’m sorry that you feel that way,” or “I’m sorry we had a misunderstanding,” can go a long way. In addition, dealing with the problem sooner rather than later can help minimize any fallout. By addressing the difficult person directly as soon as the conflict arises, you cut off his or her tendency to involve other parties in the conflict.
3. Stay calm and don’t allow for escalation. Once you are not taking it personally, you’ll find that it is easier to control your actions. Remember that body language, facial expression, and tone of voice must all suggest that you are open and willing to resolve the conflict. Never raise your voice, even if the difficult person is yelling at you. Many difficult people simply feel that they are misunderstood or ignored. By staying calm and listening to the difficult person’s side of the story, you will be taking the wind from the sails of their anger. Usually, this leads to the difficult person getting down to the heart of the matter, which allows you to address the actual problem.
To learn conflict resolution skills that you can use at work and in your personal life, please visit our Alternative Dispute Resolution Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To improve your negotiation skills and get the results you want while negotiating, please visit our Become a Powerful Negotiator Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To gain skills to handle difficult conversations and difficult people with confidence, please visit our Dealing With Difficult People Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
Many organizations have considered trying to resolve disputes with mediation by using internal resources and staff rather than external fully independent mediators. Proponents argue that the cost will be lower, that mediators will know more about the organization’s operations and will therefore be able to assist disputants more easily (for instance with information about internal resources), that resolutions are more likely to be practical for the organization, that follow up systems will be easier to implement and monitor, and that increased access will allow more use of mediation, greater acceptance of mediation and better conflict management skills generally in the organization. Those concerned about this approach argue that without true independence mediations will not be as effective because disputants will be concerned about potential breaches of confidentiality, about the interests of the organization being more important than those of the disputants, and about suppressing widespread complaints with ad hoc responses.
The “ideal” mediation process has a number of characteristics: it is party-centered and voluntary for the parties in both deciding to attend and whether to settle, the mediator is fully independent and impartial, the parties have sufficient information to make good decisions about resolution, and the process is confidential and without prejudice for the participants. In designing any mediation system, choices must be made that will affect the “ideal” mediation process: in designing internal mediation systems, designers must strive to maintain as many of the ideal characteristics as they can and mitigate the concerns to the extent possible.
People looking to create a mediation system should consider design issues from three perspectives: impact on participants, mediator, and outcome. For participants: will they feel the process is effective in resolving the dispute, respecting their privacy, and in limiting the risk of causing greater damage to their relationships and legal position? For the mediator: will the process allow the mediator to work effectively, act in an impartial manner, and not be in effect an interested party acting on behalf of another entity? In regard to the outcome: will the final decision be that of the parties, and can they reach it free of inappropriate pressure from the process or others?
For an organization considering an internal mediation process, assuming the benefits are accurately stated, maximizing the “ideal” characteristics can be achieved in the following ways.
First, clear policies should be drafted that set out what the process is, what disputes it will cover, what limitations it may have in terms of outcomes (e.g., any outcome that requires an operational change will be subject to management approval), what protections it will include for participants and the mediator, and how records (if any beyond those legally required) will be kept and who will have access to them. Communication and education about the system should address the concerns of potential participants and the organization must show itself to be committed to the principles of the process.
Second, policies and design should address the major concerns of impartiality and confidentiality explicitly. For maximized impartiality, confidentiality, and self-determination, for instance, a pool of internal mediators can be established from various departments, and a rule instituted that the disputants may choose any mediator so long as he or she is not in the same department as any of the disputants.
Third, confidentiality should be assured by having participants explicitly sign a confidentiality agreement, and by having the limits of confidentiality explained. Within an organization, confidentiality may have different limits than in say the litigation context. For instance, behavior that is contrary to organizational policy, if disclosed during the mediation, may be subject to discipline or other sanctions and the mediator may be under an obligation to report it. For the parties, the choice to disclose information can therefore be made consciously with full knowledge of the risks: this approach preserves their autonomy, and allows the mediator to fulfill a neutral role within the limits of the organization’s rules.
Fourth, the parties and mediator must understand the limits of their respective authority and roles in the process. As examples, parties may not have the power to implement changes in their workplace without managerial action; personnel records may require some notation about steps that people have committed to implement so that managers will be able to support the changes and any time frames that have been established can be respected; reports may have to be made or records kept for statistical or management or supervisory purposes in the event a participant changes positions or a new manager becomes responsible for the affected staff. Any and all of these terms may be acceptable: the significant point is to make sure all terms and expectations are known as parties enter the process, so that the credibility and utility of the process will be maximized.
Finally, of course, design is only the beginning; use of the process must be monitored, its effectiveness assessed and improvements implemented to make it attractive and effective as a way to resolve disputes at minimum cost to an organization.
To learn conflict resolution skills that you can use at work and in your personal life, please visit our Alternative Dispute Resolution Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To improve your negotiation skills and get the results you want while negotiating, please visit our Become a Powerful Negotiator Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To gain skills to handle difficult conversations and difficult people with confidence, please visit our Dealing With Difficult People Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
The modern Human Resources (“HR”) department keeps a company running by implementing crucial aspects of company policy, while managing day-to-day business activity. HR personnel are involved in the hiring of new employees, termination of employees, administration of benefits such as health insurance, and administration of payroll. In addition, they ensure the company’s compliance with wage and labour laws, as well as their own company policies. In recent years, however, the HR department has evolved into something more. Effective conflict management and alternative dispute resolution processes are increasingly important in the modern business setting, and are often performed by men and women from the HR department.
Conflict arises from many sources. A dispute may emerge between two coworkers or between an employee and management. It’s hard for the HR department to know when to step in and when to give the employees the chance to work out their own problems. Often, the dispute will belong to one of two broad categories and distinguishing them can help HR personnel determine whether or not the dispute requires intervention. The potential mediator must answer one question: Is the disputed issue a complaint or an allegation?
Employee Complaints
An employee complaint concerns routine matters of business. Employee complaints can vary from disagreements about the protocol for a project, to personality differences between coworkers. The important factor that differentiates a complaint from an allegation is that a complaint does not include any elements of illegality; whether it be violations of the law or company policy.
HR personnel cannot possibly mediate every employee complaint that arises. For example, it would not be a good use of the HR department’s time to manage a dispute between two coworkers who are arguing over space usage in the break room. Nevertheless, there are tools for employees to use in managing their own disputes and it is the responsibility of the HR department to provide these tools. HR personnel can assist employees by providing advice about how to address a coworker directly to discuss the dispute, or provide a neutral location for the parties to discuss their issues. Every employee complaint disserves attention, but an effective HR department can offer the type of counsel that will empower employees to take action themselves in resolving the dispute and moving forward. With the right training, every HR department can develop a system for conflict management that uses these problem-solving skills and encourages employees to use them too.
Employee Allegations
Problem-solving skills are helpful tools for employees in managing conflict and day-to-day disagreements, but they are often not enough to appropriately handle a conflict involving behaviour that is discriminatory, illegal or very serious. In the case of these allegations, HR personnel must step in to protect the employees and the company. Any delay or inaction despite receiving notice of a serious allegation can open the company up to liability in the future. For example, if an employee makes allegations of sexual harassment, the HR department should take immediate steps to investigate the matter and provide counsel to that employee. This is not a conflict that the employee should be encouraged to manage on his or her own.
The HR department plays an important role as a mediator and arbitrator of company conflicts. Knowing when to act in that role and when to limit HR involvement is the key to successful conflict management. With the right education and training, HR personnel can learn when and how to intervene in workplace disputes.
To learn conflict resolution skills that you can use at work and in your personal life, please visit our Alternative Dispute Resolution Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To improve your negotiation skills and get the results you want while negotiating, please visit our Become a Powerful Negotiator Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To gain skills to handle difficult conversations and difficult people with confidence, please visit our Dealing With Difficult People Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
NOTEWORTHY CASES
Supreme Court of Canada Rules on Arbitration Clauses in Web-based Contracts
Dell Computer Corp. v. Union des Consommateurs
2007 SCC 34 – July 13, 2007
Web-based contract – Arbitration clause – Dell’s website had an error in pricing on it for 2 types of handheld computers – When Dell became aware of the errors, it blocked access to the order pages through it’s main website and posted a correction notice – However, a consumer (O. Dumoulin) was able to get into the page through a different route and ordered a handheld at the lower price – When Dell refused to honour Dumoulin’s order at the lower price, the Consumer Union and Dumoulin filed a motion to bring a class action against Dell – Dell applied for referral of Dumoulin’s claim to arbitration pursuant to an arbitration clause in the terms and conditions of sale – The Superior Court and the Court of Appeal both held that the arbitration clause could not be set up against Dumoulin and authorized the class action against Dell – The case was appealed to the Supreme Court of Canada – The SCC found that the traditional test that is used to determine whether clauses in paper contracts are “external” within the meaning of Civil Code of Quebec (art. 1435) cannot be transposed without qualification to web-based contracts -The SCC held that a clause that requires operations of such complexity that its text is not reasonably accessible cannot be regarded as an integral part of the contract – In the case at bar, the arbitration clause could be accessed through a hyperlink and was therefore not “external” – The SCC allowed the appeal and held that Oliver’s claim should be referred to arbitration – The motion to bring a class action was dismissed
http://www.canlii.org/en/ca/scc/doc/2007/2007scc34/2007scc34.html
Execution of Med/Arb Agreement was Found to be a “Performance Obligation”
Kay v. Korakianitis
2007 CanLII 29278 (ON SC) – July 24, 2007
Family law – The applicant (wife) brought a motion for an order confirming M.K. as the parties’ arbitrator – The parties’ interim separation agreement stated that they would sign a mediation/arbitration agreement that would provide them with the right to proceed with non-binding mediation with P.E. and that if the matter were to proceed to arbitration, M.K. or another jointly agreed upon person would act as arbitrator – The parties did not end up signing a mediation/arbitration agreement and the husband claimed that accordingly there was no agreement to submit the dispute over corollary issues to arbitration – The Court rejected this argument and found that such an agreement did exist based on the clause in the interim separation agreement – The Court held that the execution of a mediation/arbitration agreement was simply a “performance obligation” – The husband’s lawyer also claimed that the arbitrator was tainted for several reasons, including the fact that the wife’s lawyer had unilateral conversations with the him and sought relief from the him before the mediation was completed – The Court held that it would be have better if the mediation had been completed before the wife’s lawyer communicated with the arbitrator – Notwithstanding the Court’s view of what a better procedure would have been, it found that there was no reasonable apprehension of bias on the part of the arbitrator – The motion was granted
http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc/2007/2007canlii29278/2007canlii29278.html
Trial Ordered Despite Arbitration Clause
125516 Canada Limited, 655053 Ontario Limited, 844211 Ontario Limited and Maurice Savard v. William Day Construction Limited
2007 CanLII 33113 (ON S.C.) – August 15, 2007
Arbitration – The defendant (“Day”) sought an adjournment of the trial in this matter, which was scheduled to commence in September 2007 following the order of Gauthier J. – The action stemmed from an agreement dated April 30, 2002 whereby the parties had discussed a share purchase arrangement which Day did not complete – As a result, the plaintiff (“Savard”) alleged that he suffered damages – Day submitted that since the parties had agreed in writing to submit all disputes to arbitration pursuant to the Arbitration Act, Gauthier J. erred in failing to stay the action – Savard objected to an adjournment on the grounds that Day waited too long before seeking arbitration and postponing the trial would cause irreversible prejudice that could not be compensated with costs – The Court held that the adjournment ought not to be granted – The negotiations and proceedings had been going on for over 5 years – Day ought to have known of the right to proceed to arbitration and yet he chose to exercise that option at the last moment – In arriving at her decision, Gauthier J. considered the time factors and concluded that the motion for a stay of proceedings was brought with “undue delay” – An adjournment of the trial would cause undue prejudice to Savard that could not be compensated by costs, in particular with respect to his ability to compete for other contracts and in terms of his health – Any further delay in having this matter heard would severely affect the orderly and effective process of the administration of justice – Arrangements had been made to summon a bilingual jury panel and a bilingual judge had been selected – These arrangements that had been made by the court would result in a waste of judicial time and resources if the adjournment were granted – The motion for adjournment was dismissed
http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc/2007/2007canlii33113/2007canlii33113.html
Court Refused to Consider Memorandum Prepared During Mediation
Albertson v. Albertson
CanLII 38555 (ON S.C.) – September 12, 2007
Divorce – Costs – The husband brought a motion for joint custody of the 3 children of the marriage – The parties had served offers to settle before the motion was heard – Neither of the offers were accepted by the other party – In their submissions on costs, the husband argued that success on the motion was divided, whereas the wife argued that she was successful on the motion – In support of her submission, the wife filed an unsigned draft of a “Memorandum of Understanding With Respect to Parenting Arrangements” that was prepared by the Children’s Centre Thunder Bay during a mediation between the parties – The Court refused to consider this document, as it was prepared as part of mediated settlement discussions – The Court noted that mediation in family law matters would be discouraged if evidence was permitted in subsequent litigation as to what the parties said in the mediation or as to the details of draft settlement documents that were prepared – The Court found that the access time proposed by the wife in her offer to settle was accepted by the Court – Accordingly, the wife was successful on the motion and therefore entitled to costs to the date that her offer was served and full recovery costs from that date
http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc/2007/2007canlii38555/2007canlii38555.html
Mediator Subjected to House-Arrest for Contempt of Court
Law Society of Upper Canada v. Boldt, 2007
CanLII 41426 (ON S.C.) – October 1, 2007
Contempt of court – Unauthorized practice of law – M. Boldt carried on business as a paralegal and mediator – In 1998, she was convicted on one count of the unauthorized practice of law – She undertook to the Court and the Law Society not to commit any further breaches of the Law Society Act and was fined $100 – In 2000, Boldt was found to be acting in violation of her undertaking and an injunction was granted against her, restraining her from practicing law and in particular from drafting separation agreements – In 2006, Boldt was found in contempt of court for breaching the court order issued in 2000 – The Ontario Court of Appeal dismissed her appeal of the finding of contempt – The matter was remitted to the Ontario Superior Court of Justice for penalty submissions – The Law Society of Upper Canada sought incarceration of Boldt for 4 months – Counsel for Boldt submitted that a fine of $5,000 would be appropriate – The Court found that Boldt had repeatedly and knowingly violated court orders and that this was particularly serious for someone who works within the framework of the administration of justice – Boldt suggested that the long-term costs of the proceedings had bankrupted her once and contributed to her poor health – She urged that the Court not impose a penalty that would pose a large financial burden on her – The Court considered the fact that Boldt had profited from her flagrant breaches of the initial undertaking and injunction – The Court concluded that the penalty in this case had to be more persuasive than the past court orders and a fine had been, as the financial cost of proceedings had not been a deterrent to Boldt – The Court found that a community-based period of incarceration could serve as a specific deterrent for Boldt and as a general deterrent for the public – The Court ordered that Boldt be subject to a 3-part penalty: (1) house arrest for a period of 4 months; (2) prohibition from carrying on her para-legal business for 4 months; and (3) publication of the terms of the Order in a local newspaper in her community – Boldt was also ordered to pay costs of the proceedings on a substantial indemnity basis given the deliberate and wilful nature of her continuing contempt
http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc/2007/2007canlii41426/2007canlii41426.html
Teachers Entitled to Full Lunch-Break Pursuant to Collective Agreement
Conseil scolaire de district catholique Franco-Nord v. Association des enseignantes et des enseignants franco-ontariens
2007 CanLII 40547 (ON S.C.D.C.) – October 1, 2007
Arbitration – Collective agreement – The Conseil scolaire de district catholique Franco-Nord (the “Board”) applied for judicial review of an arbitration decision in which the arbitrator upheld the grievances of the union (the “AEFO”) – At the beginning of the 2005-2006 school year, the teachers who worked at the École élémentaire de la Résurrection at Sturgeon Falls were directed to receive students in their classrooms 5 minutes before the start of classes in the afternoon – The issue before the Court was whether in light of the Education Act and its Regulations, the arbitrator erred in deciding that Article 10.3.1 of the collective agreement freed the teachers of all assigned tasks during their lunch break – Article 10.3.1 of the collective agreement read as follows: “at the middle of the school day, a teacher is free of all assignments during the period allocated for the teacher’s meal as follows: […] at the elementary school level, during the period of time between the end of classes in the morning and the start of classes in the afternoon – The AEFO argued that requiring the teachers to take charge of the students 5 minutes before the start of classes in the afternoon constituted a breach of the collective agreement – The Board argued that they did not instigate this requirement, but required the teachers to conform with paragraph 20(d) of O.Reg 298, which according to the Board, required teachers receive students in their classrooms 5 minutes before the start of classes in the afternoon – The arbitrator agreed with the AEFO and held that teachers were free of all assigned tasks during the lunch break as contemplated by the collective agreement – Following the Ontario Court of Appeal’s decision in Toronto Catholic District School Board v. Ontario English Catholic Teachers Assn. (Toronto Elementary Unit) 2001 CanLII 8597 (ON C.A.), the Court held that the standard of review in this case was that of patent unreasonableness and that the arbitrator’s decision was not patently unreasonable on any of the grounds advanced by the Board – The collective agreement was not incompatible with the Act and any apparent conflict was resolved by the arbitrator in the least intrusive manner – Section 20(d) of O.Reg 298 merely required the teachers to be present and that the classroom be ready to receive the students 5 minutes before the beginning of the classes in the afternoon – It does require them to either receive the students or be responsible for their conduct during this time – The application for judicial review was dismissed
http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onscdc/doc/2007/2007canlii40547/2007canlii40547.html
To learn conflict resolution skills that you can use at work and in your personal life, please visit our Alternative Dispute Resolution Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To improve your negotiation skills and get the results you want while negotiating, please visit our Become a Powerful Negotiator Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To gain skills to handle difficult conversations and difficult people with confidence, please visit our Dealing With Difficult People Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
“God gave us two ears and one mouth. We should use them in proportion.”
So much can be learned from listening. So much conflict can be avoided by hearing, understanding and letting others know that you have heard and understood.
By listening I mean more than the type of listening that allows you to hear what has been said. That is paying attention. I mean the sort of listening that shows to the speaker that you have heard and understood what has been said. Saying once twice (or constantly as is the practice of some people) words like “I fully understand what you are saying” doesn’t work.
We all know when we have been with people who have really listened to us. We feel that the person truly understands our problem or point of view. Those who knew him say that John F Kennedy had the “gift” of being a good listener.
We can all learn to listen better if we understand what constitutes good listening from the perspective of the speaker.
From the perspective of a speaker the essence of good listening is to feel that your listener hears and understands not only what you have said but the feelings and underlying values that you are expressing.
To really let people know that you are listening you need them to know what you have heard. If you have not heard what they wanted to express they can then correct your understanding. If you have heard and understood then they can get on to the next thought, confident that you are listening and understand
How do you do this? First offer the verbal and visual clues that demonstrate attention. Look the listener in the eye and pay attention only to them. Try not to pace, look around or be distracted by other people or things. Occasionally acknowledge what they are saying with a verbal cue, such as “uh huh” or “go on”. A good friend of mine who I know is respected as one of the best mediators in Australia (his colleagues and clients tell me) has an incredibly effective way of saying things like “really” or “is that right” with a rising inflection in his voice. He gives people the impression that he wants to hear more and that what you are saying is interesting.
Step 2 in good listening is to reflect back or paraphrase what you have heard. Reflection and paraphrase have two benefits. First the speaker will know that you are listening. Second if you have heard it wrong or your interpretation is not correct the speaker can correct you.
Next try to understand and reflect the feeling that the speaker is expressing. When told that you have done something that does not please your boss it is helpful to know if your actions have made them angry, disappointed, frustrated, sad or something else. Your boss is less likely to harbour the feeling if she knows that you understand what it is.
For instance if the boss yells at you for being late for a meeting you reflect back to the boss words to the effect “It sounds to me like you were embarrassed when I arrived 15 minutes late for the appointment with the client”. Your boss will be satisfied that you understood her and how she feels.
If as well as reflecting feeling you show an understanding of the underlying value that has caused the feeling you will go a long way to enhancing communication and the building the trust that satisfies your boss that a recurrence is unlikely.
One final tip about listening…….If at work you have a colleague, client or associate who in a heated discussion says the same thing more than twice you can assume that they feel they have not been heard. In that case try even harder to be a good proactive listener. Until that person feels they have been heard, the level of negative emotion will remain high and the tension will probably increase.
Listening is a skill that can be practiced. If you practice the techniques that are discussed here and apply them when listening, the level of conflict in your life will decrease dramatically and your relationships will improve.
Written by Stephen Lancken, The Trillium Group, Australian branch of the Stitt Feld Hand Group.
To learn conflict resolution skills that you can use at work and in your personal life, please visit our Alternative Dispute Resolution Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To improve your negotiation skills and get the results you want while negotiating, please visit our Become a Powerful Negotiator Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To gain skills to handle difficult conversations and difficult people with confidence, please visit our Dealing With Difficult People Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
Workplace leaders have a unique responsibility to manage and prevent employee conflict whenever possible. Employees may develop conflicts between each other as a result of cultural differences, competition, or a toxic culture that has been neglected by leadership.
Many of these conflicts develop unintentionally, so it requires a conscious effort from workplace leaders to prevent them. Professional conflict management training can be very effective in providing workplace leaders with the tools needed to minimize conflict in the workplace.
Below are 5 tips that leaders can implement for conflict prevention:
Tip #1 – Avoid popularity contests
Many workplace leaders fall into the trap of turning work into a popularity contest. It may be difficult not to seem to favour high performers. However, this type of environment is not conducive to fairness and can easily result in conflict development.
Leaders should be focused on getting the full potential out of every member of their team, ensuring harmony in the workplace and guiding the organization.
Leaders should never be hesitant to pull aside any employee, regardless of how well they are performing, in order to hold serious discussions about things they may be doing that are contributing to conflicts. By acting in this neutral manner, leaders will be much more respected.
Tip #2 – Respond quickly to conflict
Leaders always have many tasks they are juggling; however, they should make it a priority to deal with conflicts as soon as they arise. Many conflicts have some kind of warning that precedes them, such as a complaint, an email or even rumours.
If there is any sort of tension that is starting to build up in the workplace, leaders should pinpoint the cause and resolve any conflicts before they turn into a more challenging situations.
Tip #3 – Provide and receive consistent feedback
Hosting quarterly face to face feedback evaluations can help leaders learn much more about their employees including their personalities, unique backgrounds, and anything that they are struggling with in the workplace. It’s an excellent opportunity for conflicts to be identified before they become more difficult to address.
With some carefully worded questions that can be learned through conflict management training, the performance review can be used to gather a wide range of valuable information.
Leaders should also be open to receiving feedback on what they could be doing better and encourage it from their employees to identify any tendencies that they have that may be leading to conflicts.
Tip #4 – Respect and try to understand differences
In a global society and with increasing diversity in almost every workplace, it is of the utmost importance for leaders to respect and understand all types of differences between employees. Cultural differences can play a major role in how and why conflicts develop in modern workplaces.
Leaders must be open to developing trust toward those who may be significantly different from them in terms of background and culture. Hesitancy in this area can result in unnecessary tension and employees feeling like their contributions and opinions are not being respected.
To learn conflict resolution skills that you can use at work and in your personal life, please visit our Alternative Dispute Resolution Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To improve your negotiation skills and get the results you want while negotiating, please visit our Become a Powerful Negotiator Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To gain skills to handle difficult conversations and difficult people with confidence, please visit our Dealing With Difficult People Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
Poor communication can be costly for organizations. When employees and leaders are not communicating effectively, it can have a number of negative impacts on organizational culture and profitability. In a recent study, 93% of business leaders agreed that communication is the backbone of business. The ability to share ideas within the organization and with your clients is one of the foundations of high achieving teams.
This article will discuss the effects of poor communication and what you can do to improve communication between amongst your colleagues.
THE IMPACT OF POOR COMMUNICATION
Recently Grammarly released a study that outlined the impact of poor communication in the workplace. This study was ground-breaking because of the challenge of relating the impact of poor communication to the bottom line of the business.
The study found that teams lose approximately 7.47 hours per week due to poor communication.[1] This is almost the equivalent of one full working day in most work places. That equates to a loss of more than 300 hours per year. Imagine what your team could do with an additional work day? How much more productive could your organization be with 300 more hours per year?
Poor communication was also reported to cost companies $12,506 per employee per year. This was based on the estimated loss of 7.47 hours per week with an average salary of $66,967. When poor communication was related to lost business, more than 80% of business leaders reportedly estimated revenue loss due to poor communication was at least $10,000 or higher. So not only are businesses losing time due to poor communication, they are also losing money.
Finally, the study found that there are three other areas where the consequences of ineffective communication is seen:
BUILDING COMMUNICATION IN THE WORKPLACE
The workplace communication landscape is constantly evolving. These days, employees are spending almost 50% of their workweek communicating in writing. This does not include non-writing tasks. Essentially, employees are constantly communicating but, based on the report, not always effectively.
There are three common false assumptions that the study found related to communication:
With these assumptions in mind, let’s turn our minds to how to improve communication. To build communication in your organization, it is important to start with a few recommendations.
The first step towards better communication is to build self-awareness. Ask yourself and encourage your team to ask themselves about their communication skills. How effective are you at communicating your thoughts? Ask trusted colleagues about ways you can improve. Often, I have found that although I have the best intentions about communicating effectively, that does not always translate to the hearer’s understanding what I have shared.
Do some work to consider ways to improve your communication style. Asking yourself the following questions can be a start:
If we assume that communication comes naturally, it is unlikely that we will focus on developing our communication skills. There might also be some trepidation about talking to someone else about their communication skills because people often assume they are clearer than they are in effect.
So, what can we do? Consider developing our team’s communication through training. Many organizations have training on their Learning Management Systems that focus on communication skills. This might also come in the form of sharing resources (videos, books, articles etc.) that you have found helpful for improving your communication.
Consider different styles of training for your team. It might be easy to consume information but often interactive training can also have profound impacts on the team’s ability to communicate. Interactive training with other members of the team can also create a space for individuals to practice their skills in an environment where they feel comfortable and with those they will be communicating most frequently. We specialize in developing interacting learning environments that focus on how to build your confidence when having difficult conversations and how to deal with difficult people. These workshops run throughout the year and focus on building confidence in communication. We can also provide customized training for your team that vary in length depending on the learning outcomes you are hoping to achieve.
Another important strategy to improve communication is to plan for miscommunication. Does your team know what to do when miscommunication occurs? Is this something you have discussed? Are they all on the same page about managing the tensions when miscommunication occurs?
Planning effectively will vary depending on your role and the culture of your organization. Planning might mean having meetings to develop an informal strategy for miscommunication or it might mean working with your Human Resources department to develop policies around managing different forms of miscommunication or missed opportunities for communication.
Finally, often the result of miscommunication is conflict. Some have estimated that conflict costs organizations hundreds of billions of dollars per year.[2] Whether that conflict is within the team, with an external stakeholder or even a conflict within an individual that is not shared with a colleague – conflict can be costly. This is why it is crucial for you and your team to have highly developed conflict resolution skills.
Conflict resolution is a form of communication. In many instances, when conflicts arise, it can help to develop your team’s conflict resolution skills so they can navigate conflicts with colleagues before bringing it to a manager, union representative or organizational leader. This can decrease the costs associated with conflict in the workplace.
Similar to other skills, conflict resolution skills can be developed. We offer conflict resolution training for all levels of your organization. Our workshops can be customized to your team’s needs or members of your team can attend our public workshops to develop their conflict resolution abilities to positively impact your team.
CONCLUSION
There is no doubt that poor communication is costing organizations time and money each year. Through the strategies discussed in this article, organizations can develop their ability to communicate both verbally and in writing. These strategies can also help to lower the financial costs of poor communication and improve the productivity of your team.
Witten by Mark Lawrence, Instructor, Stitt Feld Handy Group
[1] https://www.grammarly.com/business/business-communication-report
[2] https://www.mediate.com/cost-of-workplace-conflict/
To learn conflict resolution skills that you can use at work and in your personal life, please visit our Alternative Dispute Resolution Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To improve your negotiation skills and get the results you want while negotiating, please visit our Become a Powerful Negotiator Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To gain skills to handle difficult conversations and difficult people with confidence, please visit our Dealing With Difficult People Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
Getting to the root of problems means understanding everyone’s strengths and weaknesses, including one’s own
Originally published in:
Canadian HR Reporter
November 8, 2004
Dealing with office conflict is one of those management tasks with high risks, low rewards and seemingly no end in sight. Negative patterns can develop despite a manager’s best efforts. Standard approaches become ineffective, and breakthroughs are only temporary.
As a manager watches her office environment lapse back into negative behaviour, she may start to ponder more radical responses. She loses perspective, finds no one appreciates her efforts, and may let things build up until the situation explodes and someone is transferred, gets fired, or quits. The stress is unpleasant and the impact on the workplace can be profound.
How can workplaces deal with such situations in a more effective way? First, there is no one magic answer when people are involved. Everyone has their particular strengths and weaknesses when it comes to interacting with others. Each worker has a preferred approach to situations, based on training, experience, skills, emotional make-up and relationship with others.
Dealing with workplace conflict most effectively requires all involved to first assess their own skills and to look at where they consistently have difficulty or fail to live up to a desired workplace culture. This self-analysis can be a difficult task at the best of times; but it’s even more difficult when there’s no reward or encouragement for taking the time necessary to reflect on such issues, or when doing so is simply impossible because of the pace and volume of work.
However, take a moment to assess how much more time employees and managers would have if they could reduce the amount of conflict they regularly deal with at work. Some managers spend up to 30 per cent of their time dealing with situations of conflict among their reporting employees. This is time deflected from the resources of the organization, which reflects poorly on the manager and staff alike, and which requires additional resources in order for the organization to achieve its goals.
This assessment should persuade managers to be self-aware, comfortable with their strengths and weaknesses, and realistic about how both affect the workplace. As a result, they would be better able to manage weaknesses and minimize their impact. Knowing oneself allows a manager to model the expected behaviour for the workplace, to respond positively to challenges, and to maintain credibility with staff. The manager who screams and shouts arbitrarily when confronted with conflict cannot demand and expect calm responses and respect.
He may get calm responses superficially, but he is building a workplace of poor morale, high turnover, pervasive with disrespect and lacking in commitment.
Perfection is not the standard, of course. The standard is consistent honesty and therefore credibility. When managers make errors, they must acknowledge them, not in a way that excuses themselves to others, but in a way that seeks out the same standard for all and strives to hold everyone consistently to that standard. Errors should be reviewed and efforts made to avoid them in the future.
Managers may assess themselves through training, mentoring, self-study, and feedback. Self-assessment will be a continual task for managers as their careers progress. In addition, they must guide their staff through the same kind of self-assessment, all the while making the appropriate investment depending on each individual’s role and responsibilities in the organization, and on the particular strengths or weaknesses in relation to that role.
It’s from this work that a manager may discover the reasons behind a conflict instead of the bandage solutions to an immediate problem. The fuss about the photocopier not being refilled, for example, may turn out not about the photocopier, but about a feeling that someone in the office is a “free rider” while others are forced to pick up the slack. Once a manager can assess the accuracy of these perceptions, she can make the conflicts explicit, resolve them more thoroughly, and reduce their incidence.
A manager should also assess the chemistry of interactions, looking for the best mix of skills and personalities for the responsibilities of her workplace. She can help move those who do not, or cannot, fit well into roles better suited to their skills and assignments more in line with their personalities — whether within or outside the organization. The ideal departure is when a manager and a staff member come to the mutual conclusion that the employee will be more productive and happier somewhere else, and when the manager helps that staff member leave in a positive manner.
Of course, people have different levels of self-knowledge. Not all people will react well or effectively, despite good modeling. These people still require the honesty, consistency and credibility of treatment that will allow them to be as comfortable and productive as possible. Assessing their productivity is not simply a matter of how they do their jobs. Someone’s impact on workplace chemistry should be an explicit part of his job evaluation or a performance review, and the manager’s expectations should be made clear to them, as should the consequences of not meeting these expectations.
For a manager, this is difficult work, and often thankless. However, this is one of the most important roles for managers. Fulfilling it in the most effective manner possible will reduce their stress, achieve more for the organization, and over time reduce negativity and conflict in the workplace.
To learn conflict resolution skills that you can use at work and in your personal life, please visit our Alternative Dispute Resolution Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To improve your negotiation skills and get the results you want while negotiating, please visit our Become a Powerful Negotiator Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To gain skills to handle difficult conversations and difficult people with confidence, please visit our Dealing With Difficult People Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
Effective management is essential for any organization’s success. Yet, one common issue that can undermine this success is the tendency to raise one’s voice in stressful situations. It’s not that people necessarily want to yell, but it rarely has the desired impact. Yelling not only damages professional relationships but also creates a hostile work environment. Managing without yelling is not just about maintaining decorum; it’s about fostering a culture of respect, open communication, and productivity. Here are some strategies to help managers lead effectively without resorting to raised voices.
Understanding the Impact of Yelling
Before diving into strategies, it’s crucial to understand the negative impact of yelling:
Strategies for Managing Without Yelling
Conclusion
Managing without yelling is not only possible but also essential for creating a healthy, productive, and respectful workplace. By cultivating emotional intelligence, setting clear expectations, practising active listening, providing constructive feedback, developing conflict resolution skills, modelling calm behaviour, implementing stress management techniques, creating a positive work environment, and seeking continuous improvement, managers can lead effectively without resorting to raised voices. Remember, effective leadership is about inspiring and motivating your team, not intimidating them. To learn many of these skills, attend the Stitt Feld Handy Group Dealing With Difficult Workshop.
To learn conflict resolution skills that you can use at work and in your personal life, please visit our Alternative Dispute Resolution Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To improve your negotiation skills and get the results you want while negotiating, please visit our Become a Powerful Negotiator Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To gain skills to handle difficult conversations and difficult people with confidence, please visit our Dealing With Difficult People Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
Many companies engage in conflict resolution training for their managers, executives, and human resources professionals. The businesses that spend the time and energy preparing their workers to solve problems do so for many different reasons. Not only does conflict resolution make for a happier company, but it also saves money in the long run. The businesses that are reluctant to address the issue of conflict management are falling behind, and opening themselves up to three ways in which conflicts in the workplace hurt their bottom line:
1. Productivity
Conflict in the workplace negatively affects productivity, not just for the employees engaged in the conflict, but for the company as a whole. Conflict comes from many different sources. Sometimes issues arise between coworkers, or between an employee and management. In other scenarios, there can be conflict between the company and a client, the company and a supplier, or between executives and board members. The time and energy that are wasted on recurring conflicts are extremely costly. Time is money, and time spent by human resources, management, and employees on disputes is wasted money. If left unchecked, conflicts can grow for years, and they can eat away at time that should be spent instead on company business. With comprehensive conflict management training and a company dispute resolution plan, you can address disputes before they start to cut into your bottom line.
2. Legal Costs
Everyone knows that lawsuits are expensive. What most people don’t realize, however, is that even in a lawsuit where you win, you will often still have to deal with the expense associated with defending your company. In many situations, time and money are spent on legal fees to negotiate with the other side, resulting in a settlement that could have been reached outside of the legal system if there had been an alternative dispute resolution plan in place. Whether the potential litigant is an employee of the company or an outside business with which the company does work, it is crucial to have mechanisms in place to address conflict before it develops into litigation.
3. Customer Retention and Public Relations
If the conflict is between the company and one of its clients or suppliers, it is crucial to have a conflict management plan in place. When a customer has a complaint or an issue with your company, you may not be able to go back and change the situation that caused the dispute, but the way your company handles the client’s complaint can make a big difference. Ignoring the situation will only make the client more determined to avoid your company, whereas openly addressing and discussing the problem will earn you respect, trust, and, hopefully, a second chance to win back the customer. In addition, good problem-solving skills can save your company from public relations headaches down the road. Even if your company is not at fault, prospective customers and clients don’t generally like to hear the news that you are involved in a lawsuit brought by a former customer or former employee. Alternative dispute resolution is a preventative measure that can keep conflict from gnawing away at your bottom line.
To learn conflict resolution skills that you can use at work and in your personal life, please visit our Alternative Dispute Resolution Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To improve your negotiation skills and get the results you want while negotiating, please visit our Become a Powerful Negotiator Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
To gain skills to handle difficult conversations and difficult people with confidence, please visit our Dealing With Difficult People Workshop page to learn more about upcoming in-person and instructor-led online sessions.
